Gender equality for female veterans

It wasn’t long into the Iraq War that I started to realize that this country’s perception of women being incapable of combat roles could be permanently changed by the reality foisted upon our service men and women in Iraq. Despite the fact that women are not congressionally authorized to be in combat roles, and despite the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision that Congress could discriminate against women when it comes to our role in the military, the Iraq War is a game changer that simply can’t be ignored.

A recent article in the New York Times details how war is the great equalizer:

When Mrs. Pacquette joined the army in the ’80s — inspired by her father, who served in World War II — men often told her she did not belong. “Women were seen as weak and whiny,” she said. “Men had to go on sick call all the time but when a woman went on sick call, it was a big deal.”

Even before she was deployed to Iraq in 2004, however, she sensed what thousands of women have since discovered: that war would be an equalizer. And it was.

In early October 2004, her convoy of about 30 vehicles set out from Kuwait for Mosul, one of Iraq’s most violent cities. On the way, she said, they were hit three times with roadside bombs. One exploded 200 feet from the unarmored Humvee in which Mrs. Pacquette spent day and night pointing her rifle out an open window….““There were guys on the ground that I was responsible for as an NCO,” she said, adding, “As a leader, I had to keep my fear inside.”

The consequence of allowing women into combat roles without officially recognizing their status as combat veterans is playing out as these women return home seeking the medical and emotional support for the unique and often isolating wounds of war. They return home, and find that their claims are denied or they are left alone without a group of similarly situated women to transition back to civilian life with.

Dr. Carri-Ann Gibson, Mrs. Pacquette’s therapist, who runs the Trauma Recovery Program at the James A. Haley Veterans’ Hospital in Tampa, Fla., said the hardest part for women is that they often feel ashamed and guilty because “they’re not supposed to punch a wall, they’re not supposed to get aggressive with their spouse.”

Dr. Gibson said that for men, rage, paranoia and aggression are more accepted, while women are typically expected to snap back into domestic routines without any trouble.

“Women apply that pressure to themselves as well,” she said. “They live with that inner feeling of anger, and that’s why we see more events happening at home than actually out in public.”

Dr. Resick of the National Center for P.T.S.D. said much was still unknown about how the minds of men and women handle war. But at this point, she said, men and women differ mainly in how they manage similar symptoms.

“The women — because they are not surrounded by other women, they may be surrounded by men — may withdraw more,” she continued. “The question is, Who are they with when they come home?”

The fact that women are in combat roles and are returning with serious emotional and physical scars such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can no longer be denied. But so long as it is, our female veterans are suffering alone and being denied to dignity and respect they deserve for sacrificing so much for our country.

Many women traumatized by combat stress described lives of quiet desperation, alone, in just a few rooms with drawn shades. Nancy Schiliro, 29, who lost her right eye as a result of a mortar attack in 2005, said that for more than two years after returning home, she rarely left a darkened garage in Hartsdale, N.Y., that her grandmother called “the bat cave.” Shalimar Bien, 30, described her life, four years after Iraq, as a nonstop effort to avoid confrontation.

This really comes as no surprise when you consider how dismissive and condescending people – even the men who served with women in Iraq and Afghanistan – are to women veterans. After saving lives and risking their own to serve this country, they must return to defend their contribution from insulting remarks like “How was the shopping?”

When Heather Paxton started working at the V.A. hospital in Columbia, Mo., two years ago, she discovered something she did not expect: no one saw her as a veteran. Despite her service in Iraq, patients assumed she knew nothing of war. A male colleague who chattered about weapons dismissed her like a silly little sister when she chimed in. “He’d give me the stink eye,” Ms. Paxton said. “He’d just walk away.”

For many female veterans today, war and their roles in it must be constantly explained. For those with post-traumatic stress, the constant demand for proof can be particularly maddening — confirming their belief that only the people who were “over there” can understand them here.

Renee Peloquin, 25, a member of the Idaho National Guard, had to design a bumper sticker that says “Female Iraqi War Veteran” because the basic “Iraq War Veteran” message on her car led strangers to thank her long-haired boyfriend for serving, even though he has never spent a day in uniform.

“I’m so sick of being stereotyped,” Ms. Peloquin said. “Or being ignored, that’s a better word.”

Tammy Duckworth, an Iraq veteran who lost two legs there and ran for congress in Illinois, answers the combat question squarely: “it’s not a question, Can women can do a combat job. They just are.”

As a society, we have an obligation to provide our veterans with the services they need upon return to civilian life. That includes proper medical care that acknowledges the very real mental injuries suffered by both men and women. Getting there requires a realistic assessment of what roles women now play in the military and honoring that with proper medical care and other transition services.